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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Now check this out – you got neighborhoods like Nordbyen and Sydparken. I spent a summer in Nordbyen; its old stone houses, tiny gardens, and graffiti art on the corners always make my day. Reminds me of that line from Her: “Maggie, you smell like chamomile.” Okay, maybe not exactly, but you get it – there's a delicate air about it. Sydparken’s got my heart, too – kids play, old folks chat, and sometimes I get a free compliment while massaging their back. Makes me smile, dang it!

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